Chapter One

 

The Atlantic Mermaid swayed and the sleet was harsh. Violent waves crashed against the aging vessel.  It was near dusk, where Olga stood straight with her black boots pressed into the planked floor of the galley.  She aimed a gun at Captain Limmerick, who took a short break from his all-night fishing catch.

He glanced at her with a sigh of exhaustion; then took a double take. “Shit, Olga?”

She was silent as she continued to aim her gun at him.

“Olga, you can put the gun away, surely you can do that.”

She stared at him with piercing eyes and continued to point the gun.

“Olga, you have a way about you, I must say.  I must be honest, as I see ye pointin’ a gun at me nuts, it’s rather difficult to say how good it is to see you again.”

She didn’t flinch, but continued to point her gun at him. “You are rude, L-Limmerick.”

He tried to smile. “Surely, not.  However, if you find me rude, I do apologize.”

His facial expression was somewhat surprised and yet not enthralled.  He recalled in his mind a few flashbacks of his last time-travel encounter. Olga, the woman from his future, Soviet Russia, 1970 had somehow returned to him.  He scratched the side of his head and profusely tried to figure out in his mind why she was on his ship in his time period of 1912. 

His mind felt fogged from the sight of her and the gun. “I won’t ask how you got here.” He sat and stared at the gun, where he felt vulnerable.

She gazed at him with a partial smile.  “Even, with so little sleep, you still look so desirable to me, L-Limmerick. I desire your Irish penetration.  I need it, like food.”

He kept silent with his eyes fixed on the gun.

“So tell me, L-Limmerick, or do I call you Colin?”

He didn’t answer.

“You want me to call you Colin?”

He remained seated, too hesitant to move.  “If you wish to address me by me first name, I suggest you put the gun away.”

“You must have missed me.  I still want you.  Do you still want me?”

“Still?” His eyes shifted a bit with nervousness.

“You want me and I want you.  How compatible we are.”

He stared at the floor, while seated and remained silent.

The wind blew the flimsy door of the galley opened. He tried to stand up, but noticed her gun was still directed at him.  His wallet had fallen out of his pocket to the floor. He sat down again, to notice a photo of Amoli fell loose from his wallet and blew about the room. The captain stared at the photo but didn’t react.

Olga picked it up.  “I see this foreign woman you so admire.”

He extended his arm out. “Can you give that to me?”

“You love her?”

“Olga, just give me the photo.  And surely, you can put the gun away?”

“I will do nothing you say to me, L-Limmerick!”

He paused and stared at the floor in silence.

“Why you so deep in thought?” She asked.  “You love her?”

“I dunno.  How’d you get on me ship? This isn’t Russia and it’s not 1970, either. How’d you somehow get here?

“You think I take plane?” She laughed.  “You are man from early twentieth century. So primitive, I am modern woman, I am from your future. I take plane, lots of them.”

The captain’s eyes widened as he paused. “Plane?  Ah, I see what you’re saying. Aye, one would think, an aircraft, not a dirigible, surely not; but you somehow came through a time vortex.  Surely, you know all this by now, don’t you?”

She lowered her arm, where the gun was no longer as prominent.  “Where is your Russian friend?  Sasha?”  She asked.

“He’s not here.  Not now.”

“Why not?”

Colin’s eyelashes fluttered a bit with angst.  “He’s not one of me ship mates.  I work with him in London.”

“You lie!”

“He doesn’t work on me ship, sweet Jesus.  He works at the university in London.  He’s not here.  He usually isn’t.”

“He built time machine?”

“Don’t think,” his eyes shifted a bit.  “Don’t think you came here on Sasha’s time machine.  I’m guessing you slipped through a time vortex, dear God, help us all.”

“I not know these silly terms you speak.  What year is it, L-Limmerick?”

“It’s 1912.” His eyes shifted with nervousness.  “Of course.”

She gasped.  “I not like your silly time period.  Send me to my time.  I have good job there.”

“Swinging’ guns about is your idea of a fine job?”

“I have rank in Soviet Russia.  I work for KGB!  Don’t you forget!” She shook her finger at him with conviction.

He stared at the floor.  “Don’t you worry, sweetheart, I surely didn’t forget that.”

She forced a smile and tried to catch his attention.  “What color?”

“Didn’t catch that, Olga.  What you say?”

“What color are my eyes?”

He almost blurted a nervous laugh but managed to hold back.  “Excuse me?”

The Atlantic Mermaid seemed to have stopped moving.  Fish jumped in and out of the water; splashing and flapping.  The sound of the vessel in motion had come to a dead stop.  Colin perked his ears.  “Good God,” he murmured.

“What?”  Olga pointed her gun at him again.

He slowly tried to stand, with his eyes fixed on the gun.  “Can you put that away? We stopped, that’s all.  We’re no longer moving’.”

“Why?”

“You’re pointing that fuckin’ gun at me.  How can I make me way to the wheelhouse if you’re so keen on blowing’ me nuts off.”

“Such successful fishing captain like you?  You have crew work for you.”

He was silent.

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

“Your crew?”  She asked with a louder tone.  “Describe them to me.  I want to see them! Don’t describe them! Show me them! Naked!”

“Olga, what are ye doing’?  If ye shoot me, how ye ever going to get back to 1970 Soviet Russia and the KGB?”

“I will find way.  Sasha will take me there.”

“Sasha?” He expressed with a nauseous expression on his face.

“He is the inventor, isn’t he?”

“So, he is.  But, ye and him, don’t get on well, don’t ye think?”

“I don’t care!  He will send me back.”

“He’ll only send ye back if I convince him.”

“So, tell him. Convince him!”

“He’s not here,” His eyes shifted a bit.  “He’s in London, just now.”

“Do you have telephone?”

He hesitated before his response. “You likely think we still use the telegraph. Aye, I do have a telephone.  They’re expensive, though.  The only reason I have one is to communicate with me crew whilst in London.”

She tried not to laugh.  “Telegraph. You live in the Stone Age.”

“Perhaps I do.”

“Phone him!”

“He doesn’t have a telegraph, I mean telephone. How can I do that? Not everyone has one in 1912. I know he doesn’t.”

“Then we will go to London. I want to sightsee,” she cackled.

“This will be your idea of a Stone Age London; can you settle with that?”

She continued to laugh like a ghoul.

“Suit yourself.” The captain remained seated; he could barely look at her.

“You have first name?  It is Colin?”

“Aye, so it is.”

He heard faint footsteps approach them.  A shadow approached as well.  Colin pretended not to notice.

“You look so good.  I want you to ravish me.  Tell me I’m sexy. Remove my clothes and kiss me, then bite me.  I want penetration from you. I will include my chains. It will be such a glorious time!”

Colin kept one eye on Olga’s gun and one eye on the approaching shadow. Her words started to muddle together, where he didn’t bother to concentrate on what she was saying.

“Sexy? That’s for sure, ah, most definitely.” He realized as one of his shipmates approached. He took a few deep breaths and tried to act as normal as possible.

“You want girl in photo?” She pointed.

Colin shrugged his shoulders.  “Ah, she’s old news, really.”

“Not anymore?”

“Not anymore, since you just re-appeared, sweetheart?”

Olga cackled like a hyena. “Good! Then we will be notorious together! Yes! Us! Together!” She howled.

Eddy, the first mate, gingerly walked toward them.  Olga’s back was turned away from the first mate.  Colin perked his head to glance at him.  Eddy noticed the woman with the gun in her hand.  He took a few steps back and was out of sight.  Olga turned around to notice there wasn’t anyone standing behind her.

“Who was that?”

“Who was who?” Colin responded with a frozen smile.

She stepped closer to him and slid her leg over his lap.  “Kiss me.”

Colin winced as he kissed her.  She pushed her weight onto him and the gun fell to the floor. They both lunged for the gun. They rolled on the floor and linked their bodies around each other.

“Fuck me!” She blurted.  Her long slender legs wrapped around him.  He looked up at her.  She unzipped her jacket to expose her breasts. He lay on the floor with his eye on the gun that was not close enough to reach.

Eddy gingerly returned, holding an ice pick in hand.  He noticed the gun on the floor.  Olga turned around and yelped when she saw a stranger standing behind her. Eddy swooped for the gun.  She leaped onto Eddy and tore away at his pyjamas.  She sunk her teeth into his forearm; blood dripped onto the floor.  Eddy shouted.  Timmy, the wheelhouse driver and Séamus, a crewmember arrived. Timmy pried Olga off Eddy.  Colin took the gun.

“So sorry, mates.  This should’ve never happened,” Colin said, while he tried to breathe.

“Whose she?”  Timmy asked.  “She ain’t one of our whores, is she?”

“Captain what’s she doing’ with a gun?” Séamus asked with a confused expression on his face.

“Ed needs to get to a doctor, I didn’t know this lovely Russian wench could bight.”  Colin pulled a clean cloth from the galley and poured whiskey over it.  He wrapped it tightly around his first mate’s forearm.  “Good God, Olga, ye always amaze me with your lack of femininity, better yet, lack of humanity.”

Olga appeared frustrated.  “You criticize me?  I should say bad things like that to you!  You take me out of my country and out of my decade to be with you in such an archaic time.  You have stupid time machine. You act like it is normal to have one. Everybody should have a time machine. How stupid! Because of you I am misplaced.”

Eddy glanced at Colin as he sat by the table in the galley with his other hand holding the whiskey-saturated cloth against his arm.

“Where’d ya find her, Captain?” Timmy asked. “She wears tight trousers, don’t know if I like that on a woman, not sure. Should I ever see Deidre in somma like that, don’t really know what I’d do.”

Colin hesitated before he answered.  “Surely, you’d be thanking’ Jesus each day if ye saw your sweet lass in that!”

“I think I like me woman in a nice dress,” Timmy said. “Hope yar not thinking’ of me Deidre in that. Captain, stay away from her!”

“You bring me here with your stupid time machine!  It’s that Sasha!” She said with a sniffle of frustration.  “I will bring Sasha in front of KGB.  He will pay for this!”

“We’re on-route to the next port to pick up Lorelai, Becky and Tara,” Séamus added.  “We can find a doctor there for Eddy.”

“Where?” Colin asked.

“Dungarvan sounds right to me,” Séamus responded.

“Aye, so Dungarvan it is. Would the doctor believe Ed was bitten by a woman?” Colin questioned.

The Atlantic Mermaid made its way to southern Ireland to Dungarvan port.  The crew, plus Olga stepped off the vessel to make their way to the local pub.  Eddy walked off set from the group.  “I think the doctor is this way, I’ll meet yez later at the pub.”

“I’m just starving’,” Timmy commented.  “I already know what I’m going to order.”

Colin kept his hand tightly around Olga’s wrist. She stared at his majestic appearance and began to lick her lips. She cackled.  “I am very hungry.  Is this lunch we will now have?”

Colin didn’t look at her. He nodded yes.

She leered at Colin.  “I’m hungry. Do you understand me, L-Limmerick? Very hungry.” She tugged on his large bicep and smacked her lips at him.  “Hun-gry.”

The crew glanced at their captain and appeared somewhat confused by her.

They made it to the town and entered the pub and sat at a large round table.

“Hey, the Atlantic Mermaid lads are here!”  The waitress expressed, as she dropped several menus on the table.

Colin smiled at her.  “C’mon, Séamus, get yourself up to fetch us a round.” Colin placed money in his crewmember’s hand.

Séamus left the table.  Olga stared at everyone in the pub.

“L-Limmerick.”

Colin ignored her.

“L-Limmerick!”

“Aye, Olga.”

“Why you all dress so stupid in your 1912?”

“We’re not here just now to compare fashion.  We need to get through the weekend, ‘is all.  I need to work me arse off, then bugger off to London, either Sunday night or Monday morning’.”

“What you have to do to work so hard?” She asked.

“Make me quota.  Got to make the catch ‘n get it off to the distributor, so it can then go off to market. I have a crew to pay! I have a ship that’s in constant repair. She’s an old vessel, so she is.”

“What you catch?” Olga asked with enthusiasm.

“Herrin’, mackerel ‘n such.”

“So boring!  Who cares about that?  In my Russia, we eat caviar.  The best!”

Colin lowered his head, closer to her.  The crew pretended they were disinterested.  “Olga, when in Rome.”

“We are not in Rome!” She slapped her hand hard on the table surface.

“Sweet Jesus, it’s like ye lived your life behind an iron curtain.”

She cackled. “Iron curtain? Maybe?”

Timmy glanced at Colin.  “Captain, surely I’ll be ordering’ fish ‘n chips. I’m starved, I could order two plates of it, maybe with extra chips.”

The crew nodded as if they would be ordering the same.

Séamus reappeared, holding a tray of glass flasks filled with ale. A flask of ale was passed to Olga.  She stared at it in silence; then glanced at the crew, as they guzzled. She sighed with frustration and continued to watch them guzzle their brew. Then, she glanced at Colin, where he appeared focused on his ale consumption. She stared at him.

“What is this?”  She asked.

Colin guzzled almost half his ale in one gulp.  “What’s what?” He took a cloth napkin to wipe the drops of ale from his beard.

“You all drink this as if it is Vodka.  Is it so delicious?”

“Try to forget about vodka while you’re here, eh?”  Colin urged. “Ye likely won’t find it here.”

The waitress delivered the food, where she glanced at Colin.  “Hey, does this wench have special privileges?  Is she a friend of somebody’s?”

Colin just finished his the last drop of ale.  “She’s a friend of a friend, one could say.”

The crew started to eat.  Colin paused.

“Friend of who?”  The waitress pressed.

“Um, she’s here ‘cause I just can’t let her out of me sight.”

The waitress wore a grin on her face.  “Good Lord, is the Captain

in love?  Is she your special wench? Another one?”

The crew stopped eating.  Colin shifted his eyes a bit; then, stared at his empty ale glass.  “Let’s just say, I need to keep close watch of her, or she might get lost. She’s not from here.”

Eddy entered the pub with his arm wrapped in gauze, to notice the seated crew and joined them.

Colin noticed Eddy’s arm.  “What the doctor say, Ed?”

“I’ll live.” Eddy paused, then smiled at Colin.  “Captain, how are things with the lass from India?”

“India?”  Olga blurted.  “The lady in the photo?”

Colin winced at Eddy.  “Ed, can we leave the questions for another time, eh?”

Eddy nudged up to Colin.  “Say, Captain,” he whispered.  “This Russian wench is dressed strangely.  Is she from one of your time travel crossings?”

Colin nodded, “Aye.”

“What time period is she from?  She can’t be from the same time as that Neanderthal, is she?” Eddy asked.

Colin kept his gaze at his crew and pretended to be interested in their conversation.  “Ed, definitely not.  And –.”

“Captain, ya seem bothered.  Why?  Ya have it all.”

“Timmy.”  Colin passed some money to his teenage wheelhouse driver.

“Aye, Captain?”  Timmy responded.

“Fetch me another ale, will ye?  Get yourself another while your there.”

Timmy stood up and took the money from the table.

Colin glanced back at Eddy.  “Have it all, ye say?  What you mean by that? I haven’t it all.”

“You got the good looks, that’s for sure. All the wenches drool over yaz.”

“It’s a curse, so it is,” Colin responded.

Olga stared at Colin.  “Why you want another beer?” she questioned, as the waitress approached their table.

“Who are ya, missy? Dressed in those trousers, trying’ to be a gent, are yaz?”  The waitress questioned Olga.

Eddy shifted his eyes to Olga and the waitress.  “Captain.”

“Aye, Ed,” Colin responded.

“Ya have it all, Captain,” Eddy continued. “Not just your good looks, but yar so smart too.  You live a double life; a fisherman and a scholar, fancy that.”

“Being’ a scholar isn’t what it’s cracked up to be,” Colin said to Eddy. “I’m stuck with a Neanderthal and this fuckin’ wench from 1970, Russia, which is actually The Soviet Union, if ye can get your head around that? She’s dressed like a gent at that.”

Colin and Eddy turned their attention to Olga who appeared to be having a confrontation with the waitress.

“You talk to me that way?  Who are you?  I will tell leader of KGB!” Olga threatened the waitress.

The waitress glanced at the crew.  The crew looked at the waitress and they broke into hysterical laughter.

“Olga,” Colin began.  “Let me clarify, there is no KGB in this time period.  It’s 1912, after all.  This sure isn’t Russia, either, or should I say, Soviet Union.”

“Soviet what?” Eddy blurted.

“Never mind. Erase what I just said,” Colin instilled.

Timmy brought Colin his ale and Olga watched him drink.

“You drink so much!” Olga blurted.  “Maybe you’re alcoholic?”

Colin glanced at her.  “Ye surely drive a man to drink.”

The crew laughed. His head hung closer to the table.  He tried not to pay attention to the laughter and brash conversation.

“Hey!” Called out a buxom woman in a tight dress with feathers in her hair. She scurried to their table with two other women who followed from behind.

Colin continued to sit.  He lifted his head to the woman.  “Lorelai, you’re a tad early, aren’t ye?”

Lorelai scampered over to where Colin was sitting. “Bet you I’m early.”  She slapped the top of her hand loosely over Colin’s upper arm. Bessy and Tara stood behind Lorelai.  They exchanged words with the crew and giggled.

“Are you getting on the Mermaid soon enough?  We three need some fast quid.”

“Got some tricks for youz boys!” Tara shouted with a high-pitch cackle.

Olga ignored the three women, who stood beside the table.  She picked away at her fish and chips.

“We’ll be off soon enough,” Colin said.

“Are ya buying’ three lovelies like us some grub?”  Lorelai asked.

Colin remained seated.  He stared mostly at his beer. “Sit for a bit. Order your heart’s desire.”

Olga stared at the three women and watched them seat themselves at the table.

“Had a lousy night,” Lorelai blurted and stared at Olga.  “Where’d ya pick this one up, Captain?”

Colin still focused on his beer.  “She’s not from here.  God only knows where I picked her up.”

Lorelai leered at Olga.  “That’s obvious.  She has that same way of talking’, like that Sasha bloke.”

Colin turned to Lorelai.  “Aye, ye guessed it, she’s from the same country as he.”

“Why ya hanging’ about with these foreigners from Russia?  What’s wrong with yaz?”

“Everything’,” Colin responded as he buried his face in his hands.

“Tell me why L-Limmerick, you associate with such ugly people?”  Olga asked while pointing at the three women.

“What?” Lorelai reacted.  “Look who’s calling who ugly? You whore!”

Olga’s eyes widened.  “You are whore. I am secret KGB agent with beauty and brains and you are whore! So fat and ugly too.”

Colin hung his head beside his empty beer glass.  “Please, we’re in a pub.  Just mind your own. Don’t go about yourselves as if you’re in a brawl or something’, just be pleasant wenches.”

Olga sneered at the three women.  “I know what you three are.  You dress like sluts.”

Colin placed his hand on Olga’s shoulder.  “Please, Olga, this isn’t at all necessary, now is it?”

“Sluts!  Sluts!  Prostitutka!”

Colin guzzled his next beer and turned to Eddy.  “Good Lord.  I think we need another round, what ye think, Ed? Do we have time for another?”

“Captain?  Definitely not.”

“Right, fine then.  We’ll eat ‘n drink up ‘n off to the Mermaid,” Colin stumbled on his words.

Eddy slid closer to Colin.  “Captain,” he whispered.  “I think I like the caveman more than this wench.  I just don’t know what to make of her.”

“Don’t make anything’ of her, Ed.  I’ll have to bring her to London with me.  I got to find Sasha.  This can’t continue.”

“Good God, Captain. I feel for you.”