Synopsis

Attention Darwinist Evolutionists, and Secular Humanists!

The book you've been waiting for is finally here! - This book by WebPastor David Todeschini, is a tongue-in-cheek spoof on the FANTASY of the Darwinist Pagan Religion. The first three chapters of the Book of Genesis - re-written according to what you would have to believe in order to believe in "evolution".

There is nothing like a good laugh to dispel the ridiculous and the absurd from one's mind, and this book - which is replete with Latin words and legal terminology (which are defined in copious footnotes) will have you in stitches laughing at anyone who could be so STUPID (That's right, I said "STUPID") enough as to believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Yes, it is a BELIEF, just as belief in God is a BELIEF - Only it takes much more FAITH to believe in Evolution than it does to believe in an all-powerful God who created the universe from (literally) nothing.

This book is a great gift for evolutionist friends and acquaintances, but is not for the faint-of-heart.

WARNING

This book is so hilarious, it's dangerous. If you suffer from a weak ticker, you might just die laughing! The fact that anyone can believe that Man "evolved" from apes is hilarious in itself, but if one believes that, this book illustrates how one who holds such a belief ultimately has to conclude that Mankind "evolved" from rocks. If you believe in the "Big Bang" without Divine intervention, then you ultimately believe that your ancestors were rocks.

{From the Introduction}

The bottom line is that belief in Darwinian-style Evolution is a religion; you have to BELIEVE that there is no God, and that man, and all life on earth arose out of non-life (ultimately from inorganic rocks); it cannot be empirically proven. Evolution in the Darwinist sense is not a theory at all; it is a fantasy that has to be accepted on FAITH. There is no evidence at all to support it, and the "evidence? has been tendered in the past to attempt to support the theory, has ALL been proven to be an error, or an outright fraud.

Therefore, it occurred to me that what the Big Bangers and Evolutionists need, is a Bible to go with their religion. Once they are accepted by the IRS as a bona-fide religion, they can then ordain ministers, preachers, and become ?501 (c) (3) [tax exempt] corporations and preach Darwinism to their heart's content. Those of us who know better can then seize the opportunity to sue them in Federal Court for ?violation of the separation of Church and State?, because the government would then be ?officially? guilty of sponsoring that religion in our public schools.

{From Chapter Two}

58. And Eve got twisted, and she ran off giggling like a two-year-old, to find Adam.

59. When Adam heard her silly giggling and saw her running butt-naked through the garden, he caught her and admonished her saying, "Woman, what have I to do with thee?"

60. To which Eve responded by taking another toke, and then kissing Adam, giving him the prius "shotgun".

61. And Adam caught a buzz, and thought to himself, "This is better than Bud-Wiser."

62. So soon, Adam and Eve fell in flagrante delicto, and there was nobody who cared; and besides, whom could they be reported to?

63. But they were happy together, being Sui Generis, in bed smoking blunts, eating Twinkies, and munching on Doritos.

64. And suddenly the voice of Nada thundered from the depths of the forest, as the Serpent peeped out from behind a bush;

65. The voice called to Adam in the cool of the day saying, "What the Hell hast thou done?"

66. Adam's mens rea was quick to answer, "Well, I know that she's my daughter, but..."

67. And the voice cut him off in mid-sentence: "no, not THAT; did you eat of the tree in the center of the garden, whereof thine Elders hath told thee "Thou shalt not even TOUCH it?"

68. And Adam replied, "No, we did not EAT of the tree, but the woman that Evolution hath given to me, she hath given me shotgun of the burning dried leaves, and of the buds of the tree in question, and I did take a few tokes... But I didn't inhale..."

EXCERPT

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